‘Sure, I’ve read the Bible. It is full of do’s and don’ts! I believe I can make the best decisions for my own life rather than following God’s outdated restrictions. After all, culture and times have changed.’
Sometimes love is restrictive. Sometimes love has boundaries and even though we may not like them or understand them, it makes sense that the One who created us and died for us does have our best interest in mind. Years ago, in order to adopt 2 of our daughters I had to take 56 hours of classes on childhood abuse and neglect and trauma understanding. There was a young woman in my class who introduced herself the following way. “Growing up I had the mom all the other kids wanted. I never had to do homework. I could eat whatever and whenever I wanted. My mom was the cool mom. I came home from school and smoked pot with her, and on the weekend I could go where I wanted and no one said anything if I decided to not come home. I am a mom myself of 4 kids. I wanted to be as cool as my own mom. I wanted to be my kids’ best friend. But last year my 12-year-old died, and I don’t want to be their friend anymore. I want to be their parent. My choices and allowances haven’t always been bad, but they did cause the death of my son. I need to learn how to put a fence around the yard so that I can open the back door and say, ‘Go, play. Be truly free.’ And I will know that they are free and safe and protected because the fence will restrict them; the fence will allow them to play freely within safe boundaries. I want to love them by caring enough to have rules, and I am here to learn how to build that fence.”
I will NEVER forget her tears as she understood that true love doesn’t mean unconditional freedom. We know it as parents; we know it as a society and it is true for God as our Father. Truly loving someone doesn’t mean that they always get what they want, do what they want and in fact, some of the hardest things are the best things for us such as health decisions, education and restrictions on what we should and should not do.
Let’s look at the easy verses first—the ones that we don’t have problems with.
Do not murder.
Do not covet your neighbour’s wife.
Do not steal.
These ones are easy. They are universal and cross cultures and even when they are broken we acknowledge that it isn’t best or is ‘too bad.’ A hungry man may steal bread to feed his family, but how sad that he had to resort to such measures.
But then we have the harder ones– rules and regulations that God expects us to follow with respect to relationships with others and with Him. And often these rules cramp our style. We look at our situation and believe that maybe our way is easier, better and more fun. The problem is that if God’s Word is to be trusted how can we pick and choose which parts we want to follow? If we can trust God with the ‘knowns,’ why do we have such a hard time trusting Him with the unknowns? When Adam and Eve ate from the tree in the middle of the garden they did so to ‘become like God.’ But the rest of that is ‘knowing good AND EVIL.’ No one understands evil and it’s working like God. And being sovereign, He fully understands the concepts and consequences. In Job chapter one Satan approaches God in heaven and before Satan even speaks a single word, God establishes HIS sovereignty with a rhetorical question: “One day the angels came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan also came with them. The LORD said to Satan, ‘Where have you come from?’” (Job 1:6,7) God knew very well where Satan had been, what he had been doing, and what he was thinking.
Another example is Abram and Sarai. “But Abram said, ‘Sovereign LORD, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?’ And Abram said, ‘You have given me no children; so, a servant in my household will be my heir.’ Then the word of the LORD came to him: ‘This man will not be your heir, but a son who is your own flesh and blood will be your heir.’…Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar, so she said to Abram, ‘The LORD has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave, perhaps I can build a family through her.’…When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress [Sarai]…Then Sarai said to Abram, ‘You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me.’…Then Sarai mistreated Hagar so she fled from her…The angel of the LORD also said to her [Hagar}: ‘You are now pregnant and you will give birth to a son. You shall name him Ishmael, for the LORD has heard your misery. He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone’s hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers.’” (Genesis 15:2-4; 5,6b; 11,12) Abram and Sarai did not trust and wait on the Lord. They followed their own plan which they thought was better, and it was from the line of Ishmael that we have Islam.
When God says ‘no’ or ‘my way is better,’ He and only He has the full picture. And if He loves us enough that He sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins, why do we not believe that He loves us enough to give us boundaries and expect them to be honoured? Why do we feel we need to challenge and protect our rights? Jesus gave up all His rights for us. In fact, when it comes to what is fair, we don’t want what is fair; we want forgiveness and eternal life even though that is not what we deserve.
Next time you feel led to walk contrary to God’s Word—to follow your heart, the feeling of peace you have, or just what you believe is the ‘better’ choice, remember that love is restrictive. When the world around us claims that we don’t have to follow God’s choice, and that our culture is different, remember that He is the sovereign, omniscient, omnipresent Alpha and Omega, not us. If our plans contradict God’s Word it will not bode well—the ending will not be as good as the one that God has planned for us. We are free to choose—but why not choose to follow the way that God says is best for His beloved children?
Love. Yes, it is even found in the do’s and don’ts of the Bible. In love God builds us a fence that we may be truly free within its boundaries.
Our song for today is Lay Me Down by Chris Tomlin.
Leave a Reply