Proverbs 13: 3 (NLT)
“Those who control their tongue will have a long life;
opening your mouth can ruin everything.”
How good a listener are you? I know I’m better than I used to be, but I still have a long way to go. It’s so easy to jump into conversations with your opinion, your similar experience, or your advice.
I have to admit when I was raising my girls that I tended to talk too much. When they were preschoolers struggling to learn to express themselves, I would jump in with the word they were searching for, or even finish their sentences if it seemed they were taking a long time to ‘spit it out’. As they got older, I didn’t hesitate to give them advice – after all, I knew a lot more than they did. Oh, if only I could go back, I would do it differently. (I must say though, the best place to listen to your kids is when you are driving and they are in the car with their siblings or friends. You can learn so much by just driving and listening!)
Let’s look at it from another angle. When you talk you put all the ideas that are swirling around in your head into words. When you do that, you often clarify what you are thinking. For example, when you are trying to tell someone what you think, do you find yourself looking for the right word because you discover the words in your head aren’t really reflecting what is in your mind? That’s why it is so important for us to learn to listen. By listening, we help the people who are talking to us to form their own ideas better.
A good friend listens well. A good friend may ask us to clarify what we said. A good friend may just ask questions to get us thinking. Listening well is an amazing way to help our kids, husband, and friends – better than talking.
Oru song for today is The God Who Listens by Chris Tomlin.