“Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. 2 Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.” (Ephesians 5: 1 – 2)
Once again we’re starting today with that thesis statement of Paul’s as he begins to give us practical ways to live out our faith. When we think of what Jesus did for us, it’s a huge challenge to “live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ”.
Ephesians 6: 1 – 4 NLT
“Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 2 “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: 3 If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”
Paul moves from the basic relationship in a family – the relationship between husband and wife – to the one between parents and children. He repeats the commandment given in the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20: 12. As a parent and a school teacher, I am very aware that children love to do things their own way, and they often don’t think about the repercussions of what they do. It’s actually good advice for children to listen to their parents who have more experience in how life goes. If you honour your parents and listen to their advice, you will avoid the consequences of quick, rash decisions/behaviour.
Fathers are told to keep a good relationship with their children. Fathers are addressed because they are leaders in the home as we were told in the last verses of chapter 5. But, I think we can also include mothers in this advice. The NIV version of this verse has good wording. “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Just like husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loved the church, they are to treat their children in a loving way. Don’t be so bossy that you “provoke” or “exasperate” your children.
In Charles Swindoll’s commentary, Living Insights: Ephesians, he gives a list of parental behaviour to avoid; behaviour that might “goad children toward anger, resentment, and bitterness: unreasonable demands for perfection, constant nagging over minor infractions, lack of encouragement and affirmation, public embarrassment, verbal or physical abuse, not leaving room for freedom of expression and personal growth, inconsistent discipline, showing favoritism for one child over another, overprotective hovering that stifles growth.” (p. 292)
“Honour your father and mother”. When we are adults, we no longer obey our parents. We now live independently, and may have our own families. But we can still show them respect by including them in our lives whenever it is possible. We can ask them for advice and help. We can let them know they are special to us.
As parents, we can “live a life filled with love”. We can develop our own close relationship with God and ask for his advice and help in dealing with our family. In Deuteronomy 5, the Ten Commandments are repeated and then in chapter 6, we are given some advice.
“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. 5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. 6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. 7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. 8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
I don’t think this means we should spend 24/7 reading the Bible to our kids, and acting like strict supervisors to make sure they do everything the Bible says to do. We can develop our own love relationship with God. Let that guide our relationship with our family as much as possible. Work on creating a family where love, honour and respect envelope it – where loving God and living for him radiates in our home.
Our song for today is The God You Are by We Are Messengers.