August 9 – What Did You Say?

Proverbs 12: 16 and 18  (NLT)

16 A fool is quick-tempered,
    but a wise person stays calm when insulted.

18 Some people make cutting remarks,
    but the words of the wise bring healing.

How do you react when you get insulted?  Honestly, I get mad. If someone insults me, I avoid them like the plague.  Now I’m talking about insults, not about valid criticism. When someone points out mistakes I’ve made, it’s hard to take, but I also know that I need to learn if I’m going to get better.  These verses are talking about insults/cutting remarks, not correction.

So Proverbs gives me two pieces of advice.  One is for when I’m insulted, and the other is for me to implement in my own life.  When I get insulted, I should stay calm. As for me, I should be known for kind words, not insults.

As a teacher, I found insults from teenagers much easier to take because I usually knew the reason for the insults – their frustration with school. It really wasn’t me; I just represented the system that drove them crazy.  In our alternative ed program, we had a student who often blew up and had some “nice” things to say about us.  We actually had to remove him from the program because his behaviour became too disruptive to the other students.  I met him a couple of years later when he attended a graduation ceremony at the school when his older brother graduated.  I was stunned when he ran up to me and threw his arms around me, and apologized for being such an idiot.  He thanked me for being so patient when he was so awful.  

I wrote this example because sometimes it’s a good idea to figure out what is behind the nasty comment.  Often people who are harsh and critical are dealing with some issue, and you may just be the person who gets the brunt of it.  Just think of the times when your preschooler threw a tantrum.  He/she wasn’t really mad at you; you just stood in the way of what they wanted.  Knowing this can help you stay calm.   

But when another adult insults me, I tend to appear calm on the outside but there’s quite another story on the inside.  Often for days, I think about what I would really like to say to that person.  So when I read those two verses, they do speak to me.  I need to learn to be much more patient and calm with difficult, or should I say upset people, and also much more concerned with healing rather than getting even. 

A big challenge!  

Our song for today is His Mercy is More by Shane and Shane.